It is ridiculous the amount of time it takes some of us^ to realise that what we must to do in life is what makes us happy* and to realise that the expectations of others, which we think we are striving to meet, are not their expectations at all but our projections. Most of the time, if not all, the people whose opinion we worry about really only care about whether or not we are happy.
I have spent most of the last 30 years working in IT, in the insurance industry and, consequently, in the corporate world. Over 20 years ago I did see an opportunity to change direction into the arts, theatre at that time, and I made a conscious decision to follow the money for "a couple more years". Here we are, 20-something years later, and I have been forced to accept that this isn't the life I wanted for myself nor does it make me happy.
It seems so obvious now but it has only become obvious in the last year after some psychological counselling, some exploration of my personal spirituality and belief and after a disastrous attempt to return to the corporate world following a six month sabbatical living in the hills inland from Byron Bay, NSW.
I set myself the task, while on sabbatical, of starting, hopefully finishing a first draft of, a novel which I had been inspired to write by something I had heard early in 2014.
While I was there I had to take a job. I needed the money. I could have applied for any number of menial or part time jobs in the area, in fact was about to apply for one as a part time personal assistant when an erstwhile colleague from my corporate existence in Sydney contacted me to see if I would be interested in a short term IT contract helping out on a project she was running. The money was acceptable, the job was relatively nearby and it would utilise at least some of my existing skills. So far so good.
Doing that job for just over 2 months was good as it funded the end of my sabbatical (although I tried to stick to the strict budget I had imposed on myself beforehand), got me out of the house and enabled my 2014 trip to Europe. It was bad because it broke my focus on the writing, which had been progressing well, and I didn't write another word. It was great because it led me to the realisation that my disaffection with my career didn't have anything to do with my main, full-time, employer in Sydney but was more fundamental than that.
AS a result of that realisation I have quit my career, sold my apartment in Sydney and am moving to the UK as part of a new adventure. An adventure to put myself into a sort of isolation again that will enable me to finish that task commenced in March 2014 by getting back to writing that novel, an adventure to continue to explore where and what I want to be and an adventure into happiness and love.
Perhaps the most important lesson I have learnt over the last 12 months, the lesson I am going to be trying hardest to apply, the hardest to live, is encapsulated in the following statement.
Love is all there is. Anything else is a distraction.
I will explore this more in future posts as well as discussing my progress along the way. I am just setting out. I hope you will join me on the adventure.
^ By "some of us" I mean myself.
* Of course, doing what makes us happy doesn't allow us to hurt others in the process. I don't mean just physical harm. Any harm.
